Some of you trying out for a cheerleading spot, may  get caught up in the negative drama of tryouts and if so,  your thinking can become narrow and myopic. I’m talking about tunnel vision and a one track mind. This happens when all you can think about is tryouts and all you worry about is how awful you’ll feel if you don’t get in. 

 Solution?  - step back and appreciate the big picture.

 Look at all the elements and all the possibilities. Ask yourself why you want to be a cheerleader. If you are thinking narrowly you’re saying I need to be a cheerleader. Need? That’s a big dramatic word. Being passionate about any endeavor is admirable but watch that it doesn’t morph into drama or narrow thinking. 

Asking yourself why you want to be a cheerleader highlights what you’re looking for. Are you hoping to be popular? Are you hoping you’ll attract boys or girls? Do you love your school and want to express your support for it? Is it that you yearn to be a part of something and being on  a cheerleading squad provides an instant community? Do you love sports and like using your athletic skills? Do you want to keep in shape? 

These are all acceptable reasons for wanting to be a cheerleader and you can probably come up with more but consider this: there are other ways to get all of these things. Instead of being a cheerleader you might want to consider joining a sports team. Or you can join any theater club or drama club. Even if you can’t act you can still be part of the team. You can join a community group or volunteer your time. Or you can ask the cheer coach if you can be an assistant.

I suggest you make a list of all the reasons you want to be a cheerleader.  Now make a second list of all the ways you can satisfy your needs other than cheerleading. If you do this before the tryouts you will be cushioning yourself against the possibility that you may not get in. Knowing ahead of time that there are other options available to you will actually help you feel more confident and more relaxed.

It’s natural to get excited and nervous about cheerleading tryouts but some people take it a bit too far. You know what happens. You hang out with your friends and you talk about tryouts.  You text your friends about tryouts. You call your friends and chat about tryouts. You IM your friends and exchange your worries about tryouts. 

All of this would be fine if such discussions were objective exchanges of information but they usually are not. No, instead they could be tidbits of rumors and gossip carried out in high-voltage drama. 

You hear one friend say she’s never gotten over her last try out and will never ever put herself through it again.  You hear another friend complain that tryouts weren’t fair.  You listen to still another person say that only certain people will be selected. Wow! Even a little of this kind of talk can put you over the edge! 

Solution?  Become adept at sifting fact from fiction and helpful tips from scaremongering warnings. Anxiety can be contagious so inoculate yourself against this by using your good judgment. Remember – if you want accurate information, go to a reliable source.

When you’re getting ready for cheerleading tryouts, it’s hard to stay focused in the present.  Too often you can get stuck in what happened in the past or jump ahead to the future. 

When it comes to tryouts, it’s pretty natural to focus on the outcome. For some of you, this is a pleasant diversion since you anticipate the glory and joy of hearing you have gotten on the squad. But most of you will spend a big chunk of time fretting about the end result. 

Getting caught up in the worries about outcome:  Watch it so that you don’t get so caught up in worrying about how things will turn out that you spoil your chances of focusing on the process to get there. You are creating a story about a drama that has not yet happened yet you are responding to the story as if it were true!  And your body is responding to this also by getting tight and tense. 

Solution:  It’s helpful to know the difference between outcome goals and performance goals. Great athletes spend their time preparing to get into a position of winning but they also know that this does not guarantee a win.  

Why not? Because there are too many variables outside of their control. That’s why they focus on the game itself, step by step, move by move, and not the outcome. 

For you this means strengthening and fine-tuning your emotions and your tumbling skills. In other words, the more you focus on your work in the present, the more success you will have in the future. 

Yes, that’s right, I am in the process of gathering information for my new book tentatively called: The Mental Game of Cheerleading but I need your help!  I am looking to interview cheerleaders, coaches and parents for my book.  Are you willing to help?

If you are willing to be interviewed by me, please let me know!  We could do the interviews by phone or if you live near me (Cambridge, MA) we could meet in person.  Most interviews run about 20 – 30 minutes but some go for longer. 

There’s a free gift for everyone who helps.

Thanks!

I’ve been writing about cheerleading tryouts and doubts (those negative conversations that can undermine your performance) lately.  Here are more ways your doubts can be intensified along with some tips on how to manage this. 

Inadequate preparation: In addition to cheerleaders who think they can master a brand new skill in a week, are other cheerleaders who decide to practice hard for tryouts – 2 weeks beforehand!  I’m not exaggerating.  

Solution: Of course you will feel more anxious if you have not prepared yourself well.  Anything worth having in life is worth working for, right?  So get with the program and create a realistic preparation plan months before your tryout date! 

Previous failures: If you tried out before and didn’t make it, you may experience exceptional doubt about your ability to make it this time. 

Solution: First, if you are trying out for the second or third time, congratulations on your courage and determination. You may not know this, but many expert cheerleaders didn’t make the squad the first or even second time either! 

So-what to do about your doubts? It’s helpful to have a healthy perspective on your past attempt. Instead of focusing on the fact that you failed, emphasize the fact that you tried. 

One of my favorite quotes (by Anais Nin) is this: “Life expands or contracts in proportion to one’s courage.”  I think that this applies to all of you who have the courage and determination to try out for something that you want. 

So remember, each time you try something that is scary you are developing courage and you are expanding your life. 

The other perspective that is helpful is that of a scientist, meaning an objective perspective. One of the most helpful phrases to use is “isn’t that interesting.” So for example you might say, “Isn’t it interesting that I didn’t make the team.” This provides a bit of distance and objectivity. So why didn’t you? Have you thought about it? Have you listed what went well and what needed improvement? If not, why not? 

Again I have heard from people who did not get in and felt devastated but got so immersed in their grief that they failed to assess why they didn’t make the team except perhaps in a general way.The time right before tryouts is not the time to feel sorry for yourself! If you want to be a champion you need to think and act like one. So dry your tears and get out your notebook and make that list. And then create your plan of action. In other words once you know why you didn’t make the team you will be able to address those problems and determine what you need to do differently this next time. 

Are you on Facebook?  If so, please be my friend and join my Facebook Group – Confident Cheerleading!

I have heard from many cheerleaders who are worried about tryouts.  This has led me to decide to write a book about this topic.  I am working on the book now but I will include excerpts from it in today’s and upcoming posts. 

Doubts are fueled by several factors including Lack of Accurate Feedback about Skill Level and Ability.   If you are a true beginner, with no previous cheerleading or tumbling experience, you will be trying out for a beginners’ team so this does not apply to you. 

I have seen cheerleaders who think they are not skilled enough pass on trying out for a varsity squad when, in fact they did have the right skills for varsity.  And I have seen the reverse – cheerleaders believing they were highly skilled but were not – trying out for an upper level team that was way out of their range.  

There are also cheerleaders who think they can learn a new skill such as a backward handspring a week before tryouts!  Well, this is obviously not a good idea!  Having an accurate and objective sense of your skill level is important and can save you much heartache. 

The solution?  Ideally your current coach or instructor will already have been giving you consistent feedback about your skill level and ability but if not, ask your coach to assess your skills and ask your coach if you are ready to try out for a particular squad.  If your coach tells you that you are NOT ready, take this information as data, not as a personal attack. Find out what you need to work on so you can prepare for next year. 

Inadequate Training: This problem is related to problem number three. In this instance the cheerleader simply has not had the right kind of training in order to move to the next level. Many cheerleaders know that they have not have the right kind of training or experience because their skill level is not up to par. Not having the right kind of training contributes to doubt. 

Solution? The solution in this instance is pretty straightforward and that is to make sure that you do get adequate training. There are countless cheerleading gyms available to learn the skills. There are also videos and books which may be helpful.  (Of course do NOT try any tumbling moves on your own – be safe!) Before you sign up for a cheer gym, visit several and observe other cheerleaders and talk to them to see what they recommend. You can often get a sense of a place from the “feel” of the mood of the cheerleaders who are there.  If you are a parent looking for a gym for your kids, definitely talk to other parents to get their read on a place.

Cheerleading tryouts can give anyone the jitters and in my last posting about this topic (March 17^th)  I started writing about Doubts (those little negative conversations that you have with yourself).  There are many things that can feed your doubts and there are also steps you can take to minimize the negative impact of doubts. 

Listening to and Reacting to Others. Do you allow yourself to get caught up in the chatter about tryouts from friends and other people who are going to try out? What I’m talking about here is drama and gossip. The talk could be related to who the judges are or who is going to stay on the team or who is getting thrown off the squad or…well; you know what I’m talking about. 

This kind of talk is different from the sharing of accurate information – which is good and may be helpful.  This kind of talk is based on rumor and misinformation and the problem with this kind of talk is that it usually only serves to raise your anxiety.  

The solution, of course, is to beware of such talk and keep your distance.   You don’t have to be rude when people come up to you and have the latest hot tips or information about the tryouts. You can listen politely, nod your head, and just say. “Okay, well thanks for telling me.” 

Don’t yield to the temptation to accept as fact what is actually rumor and gossip. This will only heighten your anxiety. So what I advise is that you be polite and don’t engage and seek accurate information from reliable resources. 

Are you on Facebook?  If so, please be my friend and join my Facebook Group – Confident Cheerleading.