If you have ever felt discouraged when attempting to accomplish something, (and who hasn’t?) I encourage you to watch this video of Ted Kennedy, Jr. at his father’s funeral.  (Ted Kennedy, long-time U.S. Senator of Massachusetts, died last week.) 

When Teddy Jr. was a boy, he had a rare form of bone cancer which necessitated the amputation of his leg.  In this eulogy, he recalls his father’s words of love and encouragement to him at a moment when young Teddy was feeling disconsolate. 

The lesson for all of us is not only – “don’t give up” – but also, to recognize that others are often willing and eager to help you climb that hill. 

For cheerleaders this means, talk to your coaches and your team-mates if you’re feeling discouraged; they will want to help you!  And don’t forget how valuable your words of encouragement can be for others. 

Well I’ve recently gotten back from a 2-week vacation.  Or rather, my body is back but my brain isn’t!  It can be hard to focus on work when you’ve been away from it for a while.  And what makes it harder is the temptation of summer.  We’re finally getting real summer weather here in the northeast and I confess I’d rather be on my bike than in front of my computer.

The irony is I just wrote an article on this very topic that will appear in the “back-to-school” issue of Inside Cheerleading Magazine!  Yep, that’s right…my article is all about how to refocus your attention from the fun of summer to school, study, and, of course – cheerleading practice!  I guess I’ll have to follow my own advice!

So this is just a quick hello with a promise of more substantial postings soon.

Cheerleaders, like all athletes, can be hard on themselves.  You might get caught up in perfectionism which is dangerous.  It’s one thing to strive for excellence, which is possible – but quite another to work toward perfection – which is not. 

Professional athletes learn to recognize and control their thoughts because they know that their thoughts affect their performance. 

Many of our thoughts are automatic, that is , we have them and aren’t even aware of having them. The only thing we are aware of is that we feel anxious or sad or agitated. It’s important to learn to recognize those automatic thoughts to minimize their damage! 

How? It’s as simple as A-B-C. 

A refers to the Activating event.  This can be something that has happened or something you anticipate happening.

B stands for the Belief you have about what has happened or what will happen.

C refers to the Consequences of holding onto the Belief. 

Here’s an example: 

A = I didn’t do well in practice today.

B = I definitely will not do well in the competition coming up.

C = I feel anxious and distressed.

 Do you see that the feeling follows the thought?  To change the feeling you must change the belief or thought.  You can’t change the Activating event so don’t even try but you can change your interpretation of it.

 To change your belief from something that is negative and harmful, challenge it!  In other words, use D – which stands for Debate or Dispute.  Yes, you must learn to Debate or Dispute your Beliefs. 

Here’s how: Your Belief is – “I definitely won’t do well in the competition.”

Ask yourself: How do I know for certain that this is true? Is this belief really accurate or is it a distortion based on faulty thinking?  Isn’t it possible to perform great in competition when a practice wasn’t good? How else can I explain my less-than-great practice session?  

Do you see how this works/  It takes some effort and it really is better if you write it out but if you do, you will learn how to gain control of your thinking and this will definitely enhance your performance in cheerleading and in life!

If you ask someone how important self-esteem is for a cheerleader (or anyone, for that matter), you will likely hear that self-esteem is critical for good performance – not to mention a happy life.

In fact self -esteem is considered so important that teachers, coaches, and parents bend over backwards to protect young people from feeling bad about themselves.  The question is – is this really a good idea?

You would think that with so much boosting of self-esteem going on that the incidence of depression would be decreasing.  In fact, the reverse is true.  depression is more of a problem than ever. in children and adolescents.  What are we doing wrong?

Perhaps there is too much emphasis on how a child or adolescent feels at the expense of what the child does.  In other words, fretting over Suzie’s feelings is not as effective as helping Suzie achieve mastery in whatever she is attempting to accomplish.  Suzie will feel good if she performs well.  (And by the way, telling Suzie she performed beautifully when she did not, only serves to make her feel worse.)

There are no studies that demonstrate that self-esteem causes anything. Rather, self-esteem is affected by the child’s success or failure in the world. We should promote the “doing well” side of self-esteem.  This means teaching children how to do things like – how to study, how to set goals, how to manage big feelings, how to manage disappointment, how to be assertive, and how to negotiate for what they want.

Cheerleading is a perfect sport for this to happen!  A good coach indeed teaches mastery and patience and setting appropriate goals. A good coach will be honest and direct (and also kind and thoughtful, of course) in delivering feedback to a cheerleader.

Bottom line?  Protecting children from feeling disappointment, frustration, sadness, and embarrassment deprives them of learning how to manage and grow from those feelings.  Let’s all promote the “doing well” side of self-esteem

Cheerleading camp is meant to be fun but it’s also, of course, about learning new skills and refining and strengthening old skills. 

You will have the opportunity to watch other cheerleaders as they learn to perfect new skills. A big mistake you could make is to compare yourself to someone else – especially if you do it like this: “She’s so good.  I’ll never be able to do that!” 

Does that sound like you?  If it does, you will not only end up feeling bad about yourself but you will be training your brain to “never be able to do that!”  

Remember what I’ve said repeatedly – the body does what the brain thinks! 

I recommend that you observe the progress of others but with an open and curious mind.  This kind of mind is the mind of a champion athlete.  A champion athlete is always curious about how he or she can improve and one way to accomplish this is to observe how others perform. 

So when you observe another cheerleader perform, do so with the objective of figuring out why and how that person does it!  Study the performance of others in a curious and objective fashion.  Notice the details and consider how you can incorporate what you have observed into your own performance.

The best cheerleaders have ample supplies of motivation and discipline.  I like to think of motivation as being the “why” you do something.  The bigger the “why” the more determined you will be to do the necessary work to succeed. 

I came across the following quote in the Handbook for The 7 Biggest Teen Problems and How to Turn Them into Strengths by Bobbi DePorter: 

“We make a distinction between motivation and discipline: Motivation is doing what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, when we want to do it.  Discipline is doing what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, when we don’t want to do it.” 

Of course it’s easier to forge ahead when you’re excited about something and when you can see immediate payoff but the true champion has both motivation and discipline.  A true champion is able to see the big picture and recognize that hard work now and over time will pay off in the future.

Cheerleading is a complex sport requiring physical dexterity, athletic competence, and superb mental skills.  It isn’t unusual for a cheerleader to experience a mental block about a particular stunt or routine. 

This is Part III in my response to a cheerleader’s plea for help in eliminating a mental block. 

You are right in calling your problem a “mental block.”  Your biggest problem is the way you are thinking about your routine.  You’ve got it in your head that you cannot do something and your body is complying. 

I’ve said it before and I will repeat it many times on this blog site: Your body does what your mind thinks.  So, let’s change the way you think! 

First, write down the story you are creating about the situation.  In your case, it may be – “I’ll never be able to throw a full except when I do it alone.”  

Is this thought helpful or harmful to you?  Is it positive or negative? We can see it doesn’t help you and it’s negative. 

And now ask where your time focus is.  Well, it is in the future since you are predicting what will happen. Your job then is to first change that negative thought to a neutral or a positive one and then to move your time focus to the present – to the here and now. 

You can do this by challenging the veracity of your thoughts. Is it true that you will NEVER be able to throw a full except when you are alone?  How can you be so sure?  Are you always right in predicting the future?  Become like a detective, searching for the truth. 

To revise your thinking, you might say, “Well, it is true that I am having a hard time throwing a full NOW when I’m with others but that doesn’t mean that will always be true.” 

 What do you think needs to happen for you to be able to throw a full during the group routine?  We know you are capable of executing the move under some conditions. This mode of thinking shifts your perspective from that of a helpless victim to a problem solver. 

What might be contributing to this problem?  List all possible causes.  My guess is it’s a focus problem.  Your focus is on what others are doing or you are afraid you will bump into someone but whatever it is, your focus is not where it should be – if it were, you would be able to execute your move! 

So, where should your focus be?  Exactly where it is when you do it alone!

So what do you need to do to improve your focus?  First thing is to calm down.  As I’ve said before, anxiety leads to fuzzy focus.  And what’s a quick way to calm down? Exhale slowly several times.  Then say, “focus” to yourself.  The only thing you need to focus on is executing your move cleanly. 

So, by identifying how and what you are thinking, you can uncover any distortions in your thinking. You can challenge your thinking and become detective-like in figuring out what the problem is and then you can generate some solutions. 

For you (as it usually is) the issue is focus!  Please re-read these 3 posts and take a peek at past ones for other helpful hints. 

Good luck to you! 

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Cheerleaders are not immune to experiencing mental blocks which can interfere with cheerleading performance.  In my last post, I responded to a question I saw in the forum on Allaboutcheerleading.com  in which a cheerleader asked for help in overcoming her mental block about throwing a full during a practice routine. 

I encouraged this cheerleader to become more objective in her assessment and to embrace mistakes as opportunities for learning and not something to be avoided.   I then reminded her that she clearly is capable of throwing a full under some circumstances so she needs to determine what factors are interfering with her execution some of the time. 

Here is more of what I would say to this cheerleader: Good execution follows good thinking, clear thinking.  Emotional upset creates fuzzy thinking so it’s important to step back and assume an objective stance – as if you are evaluating someone else who is seeking your help. 

Take a few moments and clear your head.  Close your eyes and exhale slowly 3 times.  This will calm you down and when you are calmer your thinking will be more focused and clearer. 

Now, with your eyes closed, think about the times you really hit it with throwing your full.  With your mind’s eye, see yourself executing this move and nailing it. Allow yourself to see yourself doing this successfully over and over.  Now, recall how you felt when you threw your full successfully. Notice every detail – how you focused just prior to execution; how you held your head, your arms, your stance; how you moved; how you were breathing; where your focus was – everything! 

Next, still with your eyes closed, combine the whole thing – see yourself with your mind’s eye and experience yourself kinesthetically (your felt sense) executing the move over and over.  Good.  

Now assign a label or cue word or phrase for this successful execution. It can be anything.  For example, you could simply call it “success” or “good move.”  Once you have your label, visualize and feel the whole successful routine again only this time say your cue word to yourself. Repeat over and over.  Each time you do this, you will be creating brain and muscle memory so that the next time you actually throw a full, you will be able to reconnect with this positive experience and success will be more likely! 

More on this topic in my next post!

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While exploring the forum on the site – All About Cheerleading, I came across a question written by a cheerleader who has a “mental block” throwing her full. She wrote that she found her fulls easy to do when her team is warming up in the corners but then “blocks” when they do their whole routine. She has to do a pass through 3 other girls which is “scary” for her. 

This cheerleader said that this is “taking a lot of mental energy” as it is “all I think about”   and it’s frustrating for her. She gets mad at herself because she is a “perfectionist.”

Well, as a psychologist and peak performance coach, this caught my interest and I thought I would use her concern as the basis of a blog post – maybe a few!

Where to begin?  I think I’ll focus on the perfectionist problem today.

Perfectionism in itself is not necessarily a problem.  On a positive note, perfectionism can drive a cheerleader (or anyone) to work hard and persevere in the face of discouragement. So, perfectionism can be the fuel that motivates a cheerleader to succeed especially when it is accompanied by commitment, persistence, and attention to detail.  

 A healthy perfectionist can take pleasure in the effort taken to achieve success.

But sometimes, perfectionism isn’t so good for you!  This is true if you are unable to feel satisfaction because you can never believe what you do is good enough or if you are striving towards unrealistic goals. 

 There is an important distinction between striving towards excellence versus perfection. The former is realistic and possible; the latter is rarely possible and more likely to lead to frustration and heartache and in some instances – depression.

In cheerleading, the road to perfecting a stunt or routine is riddled with bumps and potholes. Mistakes are inevitable and, as I’ve mentioned in this forum many times, the best attitude to have towards mistakes is to view them as opportunities to learn and grow.

So here is how I would advise this cheerleader: You are missing out on an opportunity to learn something about yourself that can be valuable to you.  A true champion sees a mistake as information, as data that can be used to learn and to improve!

I would invite you to step back and practice saying this phrase over and over – “Isn’t it interesting that…” and fill in the blank.  So, for example, you could say, “Isn’t it interesting that I can successfully throw a full alone but not with my team mates during our routine.  I wonder why that is?”

If you do this, you will be creating some distance and objectivity to your situation which will help you see the situation more clearly and with less negative emotion.  You become a scientist, filled with curiosity about this problem.  Your goal becomes searching for a solution to the problem which is now more clearly defined which is – there is a difference in your ability to throw a full during a routine versus during a solo practice.

The next question becomes: what is the difference or what are the different variables between the 2 conditions? You are the same cheerleader in both situations, right? It isn’t that you are not physically capable of throwing a full since you are able to do so when practicing alone.

 So what is it about executing this move with your squad that interferes with your ability to nail it?

To help you figure it out, here are some possibilities: you are allowing yourself to get distracted by the movements of your team mates; you have “spooked yourself” into believing that you cannot do it in these circumstances; you are more focused on your negative internal conversation than on executing the move.  Do any of these ring true?

This is a beginning.  Tomorrow I will pick up here and continue.

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It’s that time of year when cheerleaders are either getting ready for a big cheerleading competition or they have just been in a competition. Either way, the fact is that some of you will bring home a trophy and some of you won’t. 

How do you handle not winning?  Part of the answer lies in how you define “winning” in the first place. 

Pro athletes and Olympic athletes focus on Process or Performance goals more than Outcome goals and this helps them manage the disappointment of not being in the winner’s circle. 

They know, and you should, too, that they ultimately have no control over the outcome of anything!  

For cheerleading, you cannot control who your competitors are or how talented and skilled they are compared to you; you cannot control who on your squad might be ill or injured;  and you cannot control the skill and performance of every person in your squad.  All of these factors, and more, affect the outcome of a competition event. 

Do you see if you focus on Outcome only that you are likely to be disappointed? 

So why not focus on Process or Performance goals instead? 

Here’s an example: Way before the competition, consider what your personal cheerleading goals are in relation to the competition routine.   Be specific and detailed.  Perhaps you want to improve your inverted back tuck sequence. Maybe you want to refine some other stunt.  And there will be other goals such as improving communication with a stunting partner or maintaining focus, achieving a clean landing, etc.  

These are all Performance goals that you have control over since you are the one investing the time and effort in achieving the goals. Keep track of how you are progressing.  At the time of competition then, your focus will be on executing your part of the performance as well as you can.  Your goal then is not to win per se (that’s an outcome goal) but rather, to excel in performing your part of the routine.  

Assuming your hard work pays off and you have succeeded in improving the things you wanted to, you can, at the very least, take pleasure in accomplishing that goal. 

Of course I realize that there is disappointment in not placing and I’m not trying to make light of that.  At the same time, you can learn to minimize the pain of losing or not placing if you focus on Performance goals rather than Outcome goals. 

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