I would like you all to meet a cheerleader who really defines what mental toughness is all about.  Her name is Lexus Kline and she cheers for the Wheeling All Stars in Follansbee, West Virginia. Her birthday is coming up soon; she will turn 11 on July 7^th. 

If you read my blog you know that I write a lot about persistence, courage, commitment, and dedication.  Well, Lexus has it all! Here is her story:

 Lexus has struggled with many medical problems since birth. She spent her first days at Columbus Children’s Hospital because she would just stop breathing. The first year of her life, her parents had to carry an alarmed monitor to alert them if her breathing stopped. 

In addition to this, Lexus has had multiple surgeries for a submucous cleft palate. One surgery resulted in a horrible allergic reaction which put Lexus on a breathing machine for 3 days. Her terrified parents were worried she wouldn’t make it. 

Lexus is tiny (She is 4’2” and weighs 51 lbs) because she has an insulin growth factor deficiency which requires her to give herself 2 shots a day of Increlex. Her tiny size sometimes makes her the target for taunts and teasing, with some kids calling her anorexic. (Bully-free zone anyone?) 

When Lexus reads, the letters jump around making it difficult to stay focused (and she also has ADHD).  It turns out that she has dyslexia and other learning challenges.  Still, Lexus maintains A’s and B’s in school which is a testimony to her intelligence and her drive and motivation!  Her parents said that she would have to give up cheerleading if her grades dipped and that is what motivates her – her love of cheerleading! 

Lexus is a flyer with he Wheeling All Stars and she is a good one. Cheerleading is her passion and you can see how devoted she is to the sport. (Oh – she also is on the swim team and began her first year on the softball team with hopes of being a pitcher!) 

I think Lexus is an inspiration for all of us.  Just look at the obstacles she has had to overcome!  Look at her drive and motivation! Look at her commitment to excellence!  Look at her courage! 

So the next time you start whining about how tired you are or how you don’t feel like studying, remember the little girl with the big heart – Lexus! 

Let’s all honor Lexus on her 11^th birthday (July 7^th) by making a commitment to strive for excellence and never, never give up.

I walked away, knowing it was a bunch of hooey but I was concerned that so many people were paying $30 for a worthless piece of plastic.  The manufacturers of these wristbands rely on the placebo effect which is based on a person’s belief or expectation that something (a pill, a technique or a device) will be effective. 

Power Balance is currently being sued for making false claims. At this time 15 lawsuits have been filed against Power Balance in California, Florida, Alabama, and New Jersey. 

 The company claims that “specific energies are isolated and light encoded into an aluminum-silicon based medium.” And, “The Mylar material at the core of Power Balance has been treated with energy waves at specific frequencies. The resulting Mylar is believed to resonate and work with your body’s natural energy flow.” 

A snake oil salesman couldn’t have said it better! There is no scientific evidence to support this. 

Australia has stricter advertising regulations than the US and after investigating the bracelet’s claims, concluded that they were baseless. The chairman of the country’s Competition and Consumer Commission announced last year that “Power Balance has admitted that there is no credible scientific basis for the claims and therefore no reasonable grounds for making representations about the benefits of the product.” 

Power Balance had to publish the following statement in Australia: 

“In our advertising we stated that Power Balance wristbands improved your strength, balance and flexibility. We admit that there is no credible scientific evidence that supports our claims and therefore we engaged in misleading conduct.”    The company offered a full refund to anyone who felt they had been misled. 

Here’s the truth: There is no quick fix to improving performance.  If you are serious about excelling at cheerleading, be prepared to work hard at your mental and physical game.  Discipline, attention, and intention all contribute to excellence.  Not a piece of plastic.

Of course there are the other times when the cause and the fix are not clear. As I mentioned yesterday, high stress families, especially families where feelings are not expressed or allowed or where conflict is not addressed in a healthy way, can be breeding grounds for all sorts of medical and psychological symptoms including mental blocks. (And by the way – high stress is a significant factor associated with sport injuries.)  

You will have your own way of working with blocks and it’s good to follow through with what you usually do – especially if you have had success with other cheerleaders.  But if you find the problem is not resolving or if the athlete is especially emotional, then you might want to consider assessing for family stress. So how do you do this?  

 This may not be as hard as you think.  After all, you probably already know something about your cheerleader and you’ve probably met one or both parents. Use what you know already to review the following checklist: 

1. Has the athlete alluded to tension at home?
2. A recent separation or divorce? 
3. A loss of a loved one – including a beloved pet?
4. A parent losing a job?
5. A parent who travels extensively?
6. A recent move?
7. Illness in the family?
8. Illness in the athlete?
9. Problems in school?
10. Relationships problems?
11. Missed practices (more than usual)?
12. Does athlete seem unusually tired and listless?
13. Does athlete seem to have trouble concentrating?
14. Does athlete seem preoccupied?
15. Does athlete seem more emotionally volatile lately?
16. Have you seen any changes in the athlete’s behavior lately?
17. Have you noticed any bruises that may indicate abuse? 

If you answer “yes” to any one of these, it’s worth investigating further with the cheerleader to see if the problem is something he or she is willing to talk about. Sometimes the athlete will feel so relieved to have the opportunity to express pent up feelings that the block will melt away.  

Usually though, your conversation will be a first step in a process that may include some problem-solving with the cheerleader or bringing the parent(s) in for a meeting. It could also result in helping the athlete and/or the family find a good therapist.

It can be helpful to appreciate the psychological complexity of a block and so this article is devoted to exploring the impact of family stress on a cheerleader and how this might result in a block.  When I was in graduate school I had the opportunity to study family therapy.  Unlike individual therapy, working with a family is – just as you might imagine – working with the whole family together in one room at the same time!  And yes, sometimes it could get crowded! 

Well since I’ve been thinking a lot about mental blocks lately, I’ve come to realize that, in some cases, the solution to a block might be family therapy.  Why – you may wonder? 

It is not unusual for a child to develop psychological or medical symptoms when that child lives in a high-stress family.  Now I realize that stress is part of life and that there is no such thing as a stress-less family but it is the way the family deals with the stress that can make all the difference. 

One way to think about it is this: we all have a need to communicate and we are always communicating even if we don’t say a word.  We communicate verbally, that’s true, but we also communicate with our facial expressions, our gestures, our behavior, our attitude and mood, and with our medical and psychological symptoms.  What we cannot express verbally, we do so in other ways. 

If we are lucky, we live in a family where the lines of communication are open and where everyone feels free to verbally express his or her feelings and thoughts in direct and respectful ways.  This includes especially the ability to identify and resolve conflict. 

In families where there are things left unsaid, the feelings get put away but they do not disappear.  Nope – they get expressed in other ways – through acting out (examples include alcohol abuse, taking drugs, misbehaving, failing at school, sexual behavior, and so forth) or through the development of symptoms such as medical problems (tummy aches, constipation, irritable bowel syndrome, insomnia, etc.) or psychological problems such as anxiety, depression or mental blocks! 

You see, these behaviors and symptoms can be (not always) a way of expressing feelings and thoughts that cannot be expressed verbally.  

So what might a child be trying to communicate?  

• I want and need attention or comfort
• I am scared about…my family’s economic situation; marital conflict; pending divorce; recent loss; trouble at school; conflict with friends; and so forth.
• I am angry about…not spending enough time with me; the strict limits you put on me; your not really understanding me; the way you treat me or mom or dad; and so forth. 

Sometimes a child’s symptoms serve to draw attention away from other family problems such as marital conflict, economic worries, or grief.  The child believes, unconsciously, that his/her symptoms will bring mom and together again or will be a distraction from other problems.  

Typically a family will get quite involved with a mental block problem.  A parent may pay for extra coaching or special equipment. There will be extra meetings. The child may become the center of attention in the family. For a while it may seem as if everything revolves around the child with the block. 

Now I am not saying that all of this is bad. Not at all!  It can be complicated to resolve a block and it may require extra time and money and attention. What I am trying to get at is, in some cases, it is the extra time and attention that the athlete is looking for. 

Stay tuned for my next post where I will write about how to determine if a mental block is a symptom of family stress.

P.S. I’ve added a Page on Mental Blocks on this blog…check it out!

It’s easy to feel stressed out and hassled so I’m offering you a little gift.  This is a recording of a lovely little meditation that is designed to calm and relax you. It’s called Self-Calming Meditation and it’s about 10 minutes long.  It begins with the sound of a bell and some soothing music and then my voice.  People really like it and I hope you do, too!

Did you wear blue on Wednesday?  Many in the cheerleading industry did so to show their support and concern for Midwest Cheer Elite who lost one of their cheer moms – Lori Morris – who also served as booster treasurer for the gym. 

Lori was driving her van with two of her children plus another cheer mom, Cindy Blair and Cindy’s daughter, Kenzie to a cheerleading competition when her van was hit by another driver who was going the wrong way on a major highway..  That driver and Lori were killed.  Cindy and her daughter Kenzie were seriously injured and Lori’s two girls were kept overnight at the hospital. 

This heart-breaking tragedy sends shock waves throughout the cheerleading world. Of course everyone connected to Midwest Cheer Elite feels it the most. They have lost a much-loved member of their cheer family. 

How does anyone manage such a calamity? 

In my 30 years as a psychologist I have had the honor to work with many people who have suffered from heart breaking losses.  What follows are some things I have learned which may be helpful to anyone who finds themselves in these sad situations. 

There is no one right way to grieve.  Everyone has his or her own way of managing grief.  Some people are openly expressive and others keep it in.  Do not force your way onto others. 

Listen more and talk less.  When someone is describing a loss or sadness, refrain from immediately talking about your own past experiences which may be similar.  Give the person ample room to talk.  You can facilitate this by empathizing with the other person, saying things like, “This must be so hard for you,” or “I can see the hurt feels overwhelming now.” 

Avoid platitudes.  Because it can be so hard to sit with someone who has sustained a loss, you might be eager to help that person “feel better” by offering comments such as, “She’s in a better place now,” or “everything has a reason,” or “time heals everything.”  As true as those comments might be, they do NOT help the other person in the immediate aftermath of the loss. Instead, the grieving person experiences those comments as unempathic – as if you are saying, “get over it.” If you really want to help you must be willing to stay with the grief; please do not try to make it go away. 

Keep the faith.  Religious and spiritual traditions provide comfort.  Engaging in familiar rituals is reassuring and one’s faith can help a person make sense of a senseless loss.   

Ask for or tell stories.  The bereaved enjoy remembering stories about the loved one. It’s a way of keeping the departed close to them.  If you do not know the deceased, ask questions like, “What was you mom like?” or “what would your dad think of that?” If you do know the deceased, feel free to relate warm stories about him or her such as, “I’ll never forget when your mom and I…” 

Don’t disappear.  Immediately following a loss, there is usually a groundswell of support but that often diminishes to a trickle after a few months.  In so far as it is possible, keep the support going for at least a year (although there is no magic number).  The loneliness really kicks in when the crowds of people disappear. 

Take charge.  When death occurs, especially when it is sudden, children of all ages feel like their world is out of control.  Who knows what might happen next? This is frightening to them and they need to know and believe that the adults in their life are in charge. You can demonstrate this by continuing to enforce (in a loving way, of course) basic household rules and routines. 

Children’s reactions. Young children may have a harder time understanding what has happened and so may have difficulty expressing their thoughts and feelings.  Children of all ages may be reluctant to talk about the loss and so their feelings may emerge via their behavior. 

You can see a wide range of reactions. Some kids may become especially clingy or whiney while others will become defiantly independent (“I don’t need anybody.”) Kids may have trouble sleeping or want to sleep all the time.  They may develop physical symptoms such as headaches or tummy aches. Their appetite may be suppressed or they may eat voraciously. 

Some children will be easily distracted by their overwhelming feelings and have difficulty focusing and studying.  They may be more volatile in general – expressing all kinds of “big” feelings that seem out of proportion to a given situation. 

All this is natural and you can help by being a steady loving presence, offering the chance to talk even if it is rejected.  You can say something like, “It may be confusing to you to have such big overwhelming feelings…I just want you to know that I’m here to help you sort it out if you want.” 

Anger is easier than sadness.  When we feel sad, we feel vulnerable and in the aftermath of a loss, the vulnerability can be frightening.  Anger is a quick antidote to sadness. This is why some people get angry – at the doctors, the health care system, God, the person responsible for the death, and so forth.  This is not to say that anger is not justified but rather to highlight that when you see excessive anger, there is always a deep sadness that underlies it. This may help you to understand your own reactions and those of others. 

In psychology we say, “If you see anger, look for the sadness/vulnerability underneath it; if you see sadness, find the anger.” 

Group dynamics.  When an entire group has been affected by a loss (and a group can be a family, a work group, a school, or a cheer gym), intense feelings and rumors can spread like wildfire.  Convening group meetings to dispel rumors and provide the opportunity to share feelings can be helpful.  Creating a group activity to memorialize the deceased person channels feelings in a productive way and also gives group members something concrete to do This can be important in the face of feelings of powerlessness. 

I realize this has been a long article.  And I could have written much more.  As a member of the cheerleading industry, I would be happy to be a resource for any of you.  Please feel free to write or call me.

The cheerleaders complained to the city’s school board that they felt humiliated at having to wear uniforms that left their midriffs exposed. 

One of the cheerleaders, Ariana Mesaros, told the board, “It really hurts our self-esteem. I feel like if I go out, I feel trashy. I am embarrassed to stand up here dressed like this. Is this really how you want Bridgeport to be represented?”  

 As a psychologist, I take these concerns very seriously. No one should have to feel “humiliated” or “trashy” – ever! It’s hard enough to negotiate all of the psychological issues surrounding the teen years.  Developing a sense of oneself as a healthy sexual being, navigating the transition from girl to woman – these are just some of the developmental tasks of the ‘tween and teen years.

What makes this story especially noteworthy is the results of a poll conducted by researchers at the University of South Carolina in June and presented at the annual meeting of the American College of Sports Medicine which suggested that wearing revealing uniforms put college cheerleaders at higher risk of developing eating disorders and made them more worried about maintaining their figures.

Toni Torre-McGhee, an assistant professor of athletic training at the University of South Carolina, who led the study said, “Teams and coaches should consider the long-term effects of requiring cheerleaders to wear revealing uniforms simply for aesthetic reasons.”

Cheerleading uniforms are meant to be attractive, to serve as a brand for the team, and to allow the athlete to move freely without having to worry about body parts being exposed.  I have seen some uniforms that might be more appropriate for a Las Vegas show girl than for an athlete. Perhaps the cheer industry needs to look at this issue more closely. 

What do you think? Are these cheerleaders unique?  What kind of uniform do you have and do you like it?   Your comments are welcome. 

By the way, if you’re on Facebook, please “like” my Confident Cheerleading Center page and get some free goodies!

The Women’s Sports Foundation has reviewed all of the existing research on the links between sports and physical activity and the health and well-being of American girls and women.  The new report includes the following:

• Research affirms that engagement in moderate and consistent levels of physical activity and sport for girls and women is essential to good health and well-being.
• Although more research needs to be done, early studies examining the connections between physical activity and academic achievement show there is a positive relationship between the two in girls and women.
• Emerging research in prevention and training practices show that gender-conscious approaches to physical training and conditioning for female athletes help to reduce the likelihood of anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) injuries and concussions.

As if that weren’t good enough, their research also shows:

• Breast Cancer Risk: Based on the findings from 23 studies examining the effect of moderate and vigorous physical activity during adolescence on cancer risk, those who had the highest physical activity during adolescence and young adulthood were 20% less likely to get breast cancer later in life.
• Osteoporosis: A study following pre-pubertal 10-year-old girls for 20 months found that an exercise program (engaged in three times a week for 12 minutes per session) led to an increase in bone mass.  This result was not found for the girls who did not participate in the exercise program.
• Educational Gains: Females who participated in high school sports were more likely to complete college than those who did not participate in sports.

Thanks to Greg Webb of the Organization for Spirit Industry Providers (OSIP) for sending this information to OSIP members.

Okay, if that is the case, at least try to take a few minutes out of your day to try to reverse the damage to your brain.  How? Read on… 

If you can spare 5 minutes a day (come on, anyone can do that!), find a quiet place and close your eyes.  Now focus only on your breathing, noting the rhythmic rise and fall of your breath.  As other thoughts arise (and they will!), simply notice them and let them go. Then return to focusing on your breathing. 

The above exercise will help to train your brain to focus and to let go of irrelevant thoughts – essential to good cheerleading!  If you can stretch this out to 10, 15, or even 20 minutes, so much the better. 

Here’s another one… 

Periodically, take a mental break by gazing at the sky or even an expanse of a blank wall.  Don’t try to focus on any one thing, allow your eyes to simply take in the bigness of what you are seeing.  Alternatively, you can close your eyes and imagine you are gazing at the sky or the sea.  

This will give your brain a nice little rest to refresh you.  A refreshed brain is a healthy one!

Of course, if you ask them how they can stay focused and get anything done, they will tell you they can manage just fine, thank you.  But can they? 

There is, at this point, a significant body of research on the impact of multitasking and the studies suggest that cheerleaders, like many of us, are fooling themselves into believing that they can get more done by multitasking. 

Actually, pushing yourself to perform two or more tasks is extremely inefficient says David Meyer, a cognitive neuroscientist at the University of Michigan.  Dr. Meyer and his colleagues found that people who toggle between tasks lose valuable time in the transitions. 

You see, the brain has to refocus each time it switches activities and that time can add up over the course of a day.  There is also something called “working memory” which is like “mental counter space,” says Dr. Laura Vanderberg, a biology researcher at Tufts University. There is only so much “mental counter space” and everything we do takes mental energy which takes up room on that mental counter. 

Multitasking adds to the drain on the brain’s limited supply of resources. 

So, what does this have to do with cheerleading?  Well, researchers at Stanford University found that people who try to juggle things such as checking text messages while writing an email or studying, are unable to block unimportant information as well as those who consume one media stream at a time. 

In other words, these people are distracted – all the time!  They cannot stop thinking about tasks they are not doing. They have trained their brains to be unfocused. 

The reason this is important for cheerleaders is because cheerleading – especially tumbling and stunting – require laser focus, meaning focusing on one thing only.  A distracted cheerleader is vulnerable to being injured or causing injury. 

So the next time you are tempted to do 3 things at once, remember that you are actively training your brain to be inefficient and distracted.