Fear of failure is not uncommon in cheerleaders, as I mentioned in my previous posting.  Excessive concern about making mistakes and perceived pressure to be perfect are associated with fear of failure.  It can be a problem in that it may lead to sub-optimal performance, avoidance behavior and mental blocks. 

What contributes to this dilemma? 

Well first is the cheerleader’s basic temperament and personality style but then we need to consider the coach and the parents. A good coach wants his or her athletes to excel.  A good parent wants his or her child to succeed.  But how this is communicated can make all the difference between a cheerleader who has fun while learning and one who agonizes over every mishap. 

A sport environment is an evaluative environment.   The athlete is a learner who must be open to instruction and coaching.  Ideally a cheerleader has or develops what I call a championship mind-set which means being open to learning, eager for feedback, and maintaining a perspective that every set-back and mistake is a wonderful opportunity to learn and grow and improve. (This is a life skill, too!) 

Coaches and parents can nurture a championship mind-set or they can interfere with it. If the egos of the coach and/or parent are too closely intertwined with the success of the cheerleader, objectivity can suffer and emotions may run high. 

If a coach/parent gets unduly upset when an cheerleader makes a mistake, this communicates to the athlete that mistakes are not ok, that they are a problem and are to be avoided.  Patience and a sense of humor plus a championship mind-set on the part of the parents/coaches go a long way toward creating a healthy learning atmosphere. 

Let’s not forget that this sport of cheerleading is supposed to be fun! 

It is good to set high standards and strive for excellence in sport performance and it is imperative that coaches and parents never put down the cheerleader’s efforts, performance, and self worth when the results are imperfect. 

To an athlete, the reactions and words of a parent and/or coach carry enormous weight.  If coaches/parents pressure athletes (especially young beginners) to perform perfectly, to avoid mistakes, and to meet high (perhaps unrealistic) expectations, and if they criticize the athlete when he or she fails to meet those expectations, all this contributes to the athletes’ fear of failure. 

Fostering a good work ethic with clearly defined and realistically high expectations, encouraging healthy team relationships, nurturing a spirit of curiosity and openness to learning where mistakes are gifts and not demons are all ways to contribute to the development of a happy, healthy cheerleader.

As I mentioned in my last post on the perfectionistic cheerleader, those athletes who have more Perfectionistic Concerns also have more fear of failure.  This term is another one that is thrown around a lot and not surprisingly, it is more complicated that you might think! 

 Why should someone have a fear of failure?  Of course no one likes to fail but for some people, the fear of failing is excessive and it can lead to sub-par performances and mental blocks.  They associate failure with aversive consequences – not just feeling bad but with real or imagined negative consequences.  

And what are those consequences?  It seems there are 5: 

1. Fear of experiencing shame and embarrassment
2. Fear of devaluing one’s self-estimate (“I’m not as good as I thought.”)
3. Fear of having an uncertain future (“Will I be able to stay on the team?”)
4. Fear of important others (parents/coaches) losing interest
5. Fear of upsetting important others (parents/coaches) 

Fear of failure can lead to avoidance behavior.  The thinking is something like this: “If I don’t try, I can’t fail.”   The motivation is to avoid failure because of anticipatory shame (of failing). 

Sport psychology research shows that fear of experiencing shame and embarrassmentis central to understanding the relationship between perfectionism and fear of failure. In other words, shame is an emotion at the core of fear of failure and it involves a negative scrutiny of one’s self along with feelings of incompetence.  The experience is a painful one especially because the athlete feels that his or her entire self is a failure.   

But reader – do not despair!  I’ll be telling you what to do about this in my next posting! 

Have you signed up for my Confident Cheerleading Tips?  No? All you have to do is scroll up to the upper right side opt-in box, give me your name and email, and you will get my 10 annotated peak performance tips delivered to you via email. Go ahead…do it now!

As the author of 2 mental game training programs for cheerleaders, I am always eager to get feedback about the programs.  So, I am thrilled that Valerie Ninemire, one of the cheerleading industry’s most respected experts, wrote a review about my competition program. 

Valerie is well known for her website – About.com. Cheerleading – which is loaded with all sorts of valuable information for cheerleaders, cheer coaches, and everyone in the cheer industry. Also, Valerie is the editor of the highly esteemed Cheer Coach & Advisor Magazine.

Here is some of what Valerie said: 

The Bottom Line 

I believe that the key to using “The Mental Game of Cheerleading: Training for Competitions” is to realize that our mind controls a lot of what happens with our bodies. Whether it’s fear or anxiety; mental blocks or low self confidence; what we think affects how we act and more importantly how we perform. If your goal is to be successful in the sport of cheerleading, you have to understand how much the mental aspect contributes to the outcome. And these are the reasons I highly recommend this program to all cheerleaders and coaches. 

I was totally impressed with this 2-CD program which provides you “with everything you need to break through barriers, immediately improve concentration, eliminate distractions, and transform your performance.” 

Written and presented by Pamela Enders, PhD., a peak performance psychologist on the faculty of Harvard Medical School, these CDs help you learn to make your body do what you want it to do, relieve tension, reach your potential and break through fears and negative thinking. 

Keeping in mind that some say 50-90% of success in high level sports is attributed to mental factors, the importance of winning the mental game in cheerleading can not be stressed enough. Whether you’re a coach or a cheerleader, I strongly believe this program will help you reach your peak performance level. Available either as an instant download (MP3) or as a mailed CD program, “The Mental Game of Cheerleading: Training for Competitions” is an investment in yourself. 

To read the full review, please go to this link: http://cheerleading.about.com/od/cheershopping/gr/Mental_Game_Competitions.htm

Don”t forget!  My special Thanksgiving sale is on for a short time only – until Monday, November 30th.

I am offering my mental game training programs for $20 less than the normal investment of $67. That’s right…instead of $67, you only pay $47!

In addition to the programs, I am giving an extra special bonus – I will offer a complimentary telephone coaching session to anyone who invests in either of these programs! Simply let me know you have purchased a program and we will arrange a time to talk about anything related to the mental game of cheerleading!

Please go to the Products page on this blog for more information.  (The price will list as $67 until you go to checkout.)

Thank you all for following my blog!

I wish you a most happy Thanksgiving!

Impulse control is the second skill on the Resiliency list created by Dr. Karen Reivich.  For cheerleaders, controlling the desire to act on feelings is important.  Highly resilient people are able to tolerate ambiguity so they don’t rush to make decisions. They sit back and look at things in a thoughtful way before acting. 

Impulsive people act before they think.  Another way of putting it is: ready, fire, aim!  I’m sure you know this can get you into all sorts of trouble! 

One way to manage this is to create a wedge between your impulse to act and the action itself.  Imagine a remote control device with the “pause” button.  When you watch a DVD, you can move it forward, backforward or pause it.  When in “pause” mode, you create the space to do something else.  You might get something to eat, answer the phone, or whatever but you are in control for a period of time. 

It’s the same with other things in life.  You can choose to “pause” to create the space in which to think about what you will do next.  If you get in the habit of hitting the “pause” button, you  will make better decisions for yourself and you won’t’ regret saying or doing something down the road.

In a previous post I wrote about the 7 skills associated with resilience. The first one, according to Dr. Karen Reivich, is Emotional Awareness and Regulation which is the ability to identify what you are feeling and to control and manage those feelings.

Why might this be important for a cheerleader? Excellence in any sport is all about control. A wise cheerleader will be able to identify those things that can be controlled and those things that cannot. Energy and focus should be placed on those things that can be controlled, of course, and the most important thing to control (and the only thing totally under your control) are your emotions.

The first step is to become aware of what you are feeling. A useful guide is something called the RULER which was created by Professor Marc Brackett, the deputy director of the Yale University’s health, emotion and behavior laboratory.

RULER stands for Recognize, Understand, Label, Express, and Regulate:

Recognize emotions to obtain valuable information about the environment. Feelings provide information. There is nothing inherently “bad” about feelings – even so-called negative ones. Suppressing emotions may actually lead to an increase in the feelings you do not want to have! Make note of what you are feeling. You do not need to act on the feelings, just notice them.

Understand the causes of emotions to predict behavior. Your feelings will vary depending on the way you interpret an event. If you see something as threatening, you will experience fear or anger; if you see something as funny, you will feel experience a positive sense of amusement; if you experience a loss (of a person, a situation, or self esteem), you might feel sad or helpless.

Label emotions to describe feelings precisely and accurately. Try to develop a rich vocabulary to describe how you feel. For example, if you are amused by something you might feel charmed, delighted, entertained, or pleased. If you are sad, you might also feel disappointed, morose, depressed, blue, or unhappy.

Express emotions appropriately to communicate messages effectively. There are many ways to express emotions including nonverbal ways and speaking or writing. There are also times to express feelings and times when you should not! Expressing your feelings in the middle of a competition is obviously not the right time!

Regulate emotions to harness their constructive power. Knowing how and when to express feelings is important but knowing how to modulate the intensity of feelings is useful too. This does not mean to suppress feelings but rather to turn the dial down on their intensity. Big feelings can be reduced in size to something that is more manageable for you and for others around you.

Do you think resilience is innate (we are born with it) or can it be learned? No matter what you believe, we can all agree that resilience is an important ingredient for cheerleading success (and life success, too!).

Of course I believe it can be learned and so does Dr Karen Reivich who is co-author of The Optimistic Child, with Professor Martin Seligman, and co-author of the Resilience Factor.

Dr, Reivich says that there are (at least) 7 skills associated with resilience. All can be learned and incorporated into your life. Here they are:

1. Emotional awareness and regulation.
This is primarily the ability to identify what you are feeling and, when necessary, the ability to control and manage your feelings.
2. Impulse control.
Highly resilient people are able to tolerate ambiguity so they don’t rush to make decisions. They sit back and look at things in a thoughtful way before acting.
3. Optimism.
This refers to ‘realistic optimism’ not pie-in-the-sky optimism. People who are blindly optimistic do not have a brand of optimism which facilitates problem solving: in fact it interferes with it. So for optimism to help resilience, it needs to be wed to reality.
4. Causal analysis
This means the ability to think comprehensively about the problems you confront. Folks who score high in resilience are able to look at problems from many perspectives and consider many factors.
5. Empathy
People who score high on emotional awareness and understand their own emotions tend also to score high on empathy – the ability to read and understand the emotions of others. This is important for resilience for two reasons: first, it helps build relationships with others and then this builds social support
6. Self-efficacy
This is confidence in your ability to solve problems. This is partly about knowing what your strengths and weaknesses are and relying on your strengths to cope. Reivich stresses that this is different than self esteem. In other words, it is not just about feeling good about yourself, it is what she calls “a skills based mastery notion of coping.”
7. Reaching out
By this Reivich means being prepared to take appropriate risk. People who score high on resilience are willing to try things and think failure is a part of life.

Take a few moments to consider this list. On a scale of 1 – 5, with 1 being low and 5 being high, how would you rate yourself on each dimension? Stay tuned for ways to improve your score!

We all like to feel good about ourselves and cheerleaders are no exception.  Cheerleading coaches and cheer parents can play a role in enhancing self esteem but not in the ways you might think!

Somewhere along the line, people got the notion that praising children (of all ages) would increase self esteem.  (I have addressed this somewhat in previous posts.) As I mentioned before, praising for effort is far better than praising for ability.

Ultimately, children are in charge of their own self-esteem.  The best thing parents and cheerleading coaches can do is to teach cheerleaders to love challenges, enjoy mastering new skills, and to learn how to cope with and capitalize on setbacks and mistakes.

These are skills that will help them boost their self-esteem for the rest of their lives

The Burlington Patriots, a Massachusetts Pop Warner Cheerleading Team (Junior Midgets), has won 11 national titles and want to win another one. Will they do it? Watch the movie and find out! 

Film makers Laura Molta and Al Ward follow the Patriots Cheerleading team over the months of preparing for their national cheerleading competitions. From the first practice of the season in August through the many long hours of grueling preparation to the final test of their skill and expertise at Nationals, this film will attract and hold your attention as you root for the home team. 

I highly recommend this riveting movie to anyone who is involved in cheerleading.  This means all cheerleaders, all cheer coaches, all cheer parents, and everyone in the cheer industry.  If you’re new to the spirit world, this is a perfect introduction to the reality of this exciting sport.  If you’re a veteran, you will appreciate the story of this team and its leaders as it moves towards its exciting finish. 

There is so much to like about this film that it is hard to know where to begin!  The cheerleaders themselves are superb athletes who dedicate countless hours perfecting their skills.  The coaches pull out all the stops to devote their time, energy and love to the girls in their quest for a title. 

If you think winning a title is just a matter of practice, then this film will be a revelation to you.  Sure, the physical and technical preparation and practice are important, but the mental preparation is what makes the difference between a championship team and a runner-up.  Co-directors Darlene Tierney and Carolyn Shannon and Coach Jennifer Currie know this well and their passion, wisdom and psychological astuteness help the team overcome setbacks and forge ahead.  Perhaps without their knowing it, these ladies are teaching valuable mental toughness skills to these girls. 

At one point, Carolyn says, “It’s a lesson in life…you don’t have power or control…” True!  One of the key principles in sport psychology is to recognize the things you can and cannot control and to devote your energy to those things you can control.  These women know this instinctively. 

Right before the National competition, one of the girls has to have an appendectomy and cannot perform. Then, the night before the big event, the team is told they have to change one of their moves.  One girl has the flu and another has a painful ovarian cyst.  What do they do?  They work fast and hard to change the routine and the girls pull it all together in a remarkable fashion. 

I found myself rooting for the Patriots, feeling the excitement and the tension as they competed.  (I even had tears in my eyes.) You can’t help but get involved in this story! 

In addition to the main story, there are special features that are like a mini-course in cheerleading.  These features include behind the scenes interviews with 10 of the top ranked Pop Warner Cheerleading teams in the country; more than 10 full length competition performances and live critiques of cheer routines by judges.  Surely the last feature alone makes this video worth buying.  Where else can you hear a judge assess a cheer team’s performance – in the moment?  

Do yourself a favor and go to www.Cheerleadingfilm.com to purchase your DVD of Blood, Sweat & Cheers!

I’m pleased to announce that my brand new column – called Mind Games – appears in the latest issue of Inside Cheerleading Magazine!   This is the October “back to school” issue and my column addresses how to make the transition from summer fun to school and practice. 

Inside Cheerleading Magazine won the 2009 award for the Best Spirit Industry Periodical Issue from SITA (Spirit Industry Trade Organization).   This award, which Inside Cheerleading has won 3 years in a row, recognizes “comprehensive, balanced, and creative coverage of the spirit industry with sound journalistic principles and emphasis on both editorial excellence and visual appeal.”  

I am proud to contribute to such a fine periodical.  Not a subscriber?  Check it out!