Kat Jones, founder of College Cheer Guide, is organizing the first ever Collegiate Cheer Recruit Clinic on August 27th in Dallas. This special one-day event is only open to the first 300 cheerleaders who register so – hurry! 

By attending this even you will be able to:

• Meet & Greet with Collegiate Cheerleading Coaches
• Show off your Tumbling & Stunting Skills
• Learn about Collegiate Cheerleading & College!
• Learn the mental skills that will help you ace your tryouts!
•  Have a chance to GET RECRUITED by Collegiate Cheerleading Coaches!

So far,  reps from more than 33 schools will be in attendance with more being added every day!  Where else would you get this opportunity to meet this many college cheer coaches in one place?!  And all of the coaches will take your photo and contact information with them!  This definitely gives you a competitive edge you wouldn’t have otherwise.

I will be there and as the keynote speaker, I am offering all registrants a special deal on my mental game training programs.  Yes, I am offering deep discounts on my programs but you MUST register by August 15th in order to qualify.  Here is a link to the special offer: http://www.collegecheerguide.com/MainPages/Clinic-Dr-Pamela-Enders.html

If you come to Dallas for this special event, please say hello –  I’d love to meet you!

It’s heart-breaking to feel rejected!  I can see why you feel so devastated and depressed. When you are in the middle of experiencing such big feelings, it’s hard to be objective and it’s hard to imagine you would ever feel any differently. 

As much as we would like to believe otherwise, life simply isn’t fair.  Well, sometimes it is but often it isn’t and if we cling to the belief that it OUGHT to be fair, we will be sorely disappointed.  If the coach did indeed choose girls who were less qualified than you, that isn’t fair.  Still – there is little or nothing you can do about it I’m afraid. 

I have said many times that in life, there are things we have control over and things we do not have control over.  It’s important to know the difference and to expend our focus and energy only on those things we DO have control over. 

In your situation, you had no control over who the other applicants were, how skilled they were compared to you, whether they had an “in” with the coach or not, and so forth.  The only thing you had control over was your own performance and the time and energy you devoted to preparing for the tryout.

It sounds like you did work hard and did your best.  Unfortunately, for a variety of reasons, you did not make it but it sounds like that was because of things you had NO control over.  For what it’s worth, you can feel proud of your effort and your courage.  I know that doesn’t sound like much right now but it may be that some day you will be able to reflect on this and see that you did the best you could which is all anyone can ever ask of you. 

When you have big feelings like you are having, it’s important to honor them as being valid and it’s also important to eventually put it all into perspective (which is hard at first). Some people might tell you what happened is “no big deal” but that isn’t helpful and it’s their way of trying to make you feel better. Of course it is a big deal!  At the same time you have to find a way to move on with your life, right? 

Have you looked into Pop Warner cheerleading?  Or a Recreation cheer team in your community? I think there are NO tryouts for Pop Warner.   

If there isn’t’ a Rec team or Pop Warner team in your area, let’s look at some other options for you. 

I know you want to be a cheerleader and it seems to you at this moment that there is nothing that could replace it.  But please try to take a step back and look at the bigger picture.  Think about all the reasons why you want to be a cheerleader.  What are they? Some possible reasons could be: 

1. To be physically active and athletic
2. To be part of a team or group
3. To express school spirit
4. To be popular
5. To have something to do besides school work 

Are these some of the reasons you want to be a cheerleader?  What would you add to the list? 

Now, even though in your heart of hearts you want to be a cheerleader, think about how else you might be physically active and athletic.  For example, can you join another athletic team at school or in your community? 

Ok – and if you long to be part of a team or a group, what other group at school or in your community can you join?  Your school guidance counselor can help you with this.  At school, you could join a drama club (even if you don’t act, you could help behind the scenes) or some other club or group or you could offer to volunteer somewhere.  

If you want to express your school spirit, look into a Pep Club or start one!  Get a group of kids together to paint banners supporting the teams.  You see…there are los of ways to be part of something and to make good connections with others. 

Please keep me posted as to how you are doing.  I wish you well!

Well, this person did write back to me saying she felt “so much better” which makes me feel better, too!

How would you have handled this situation?  Your thoughts and comments are welcome!

Please check out my new

 If you are interested, here are the details: 

Tryouts will take place on Thursday, July 22, 2010 at 1776 N. Broad Street in Philadelphia.  There is a $20 registration fee and you must be 18 or older to audition. Bring your dance resume and wear shorts or briefs and a crop top; tights are optional. 

Here is the schedule for the day: 

5:30 pm . . . . Registration

6:15 pm . . . . Warm-up

6:45 pm . . . . Across Floor

7:00 pm . . . . Choreography

8:00 pm . . . . Judging 

If you are selected, you will perform during games for the Two-Time Champion Philadelphia KiXX professional indoor soccer club! 

For more information or to register for the KiXX Dance Team Tryouts, visit www.kixxonline.com or call 1-888-888-KIXX. 

Recently, I wrote about a cheerleader who was getting ready for tryouts and who had lost her confidence.  She had been on the squad for the most recent season but was worried about the stiff competition for this year.  She wanted help getting her confidence back. 

I made several recommendations and am happy to report the result (in her words):

 ”Thank you sooo much! You were right – I made varsity! Your advice helped a lot. Right before I went in front of the judges to try out I used your visualization. I found myself a corner and did the breathing exercise. By the time I went onstage I was so ready. I know I did the best I could and it paid off. It feels great to be back with my old squad! Thanks for believing in me:)”

What distinguished this cheerleader from others?  Well, she was eager for help and – most importantly – she took the advice and immediately put it into practice.  She took action and it worked.  Bravo! 

Want more?  Check out my special training program called The Mental Game of Cheerleading: Tryouts! which is a 2-CD audio program with a 50 page workbook.  There is a digital (downloadable) version as well (which costs less!). 

And keep those cards and letters coming!

Well, this is how I responded to this athlete’s question:  

First I encouraged her to create a list of things you CAN control and things you CANNOT control and focus your attention on things you CAN control. 

For example, some things you CAN control:

Your attitude (friendly, open, enthusiastic, engaged, etc.); your focus; the way you interact with others (judges want good team-mates); execution of your skills; the way you manage possible mistakes (no pouting or sulking!). 

Things you CANNOT control:

Who else is trying out; what their skill levels are; what positions need to be filled, etc.  

It really is important to not waste your time fretting about what you cannot control, ok? 

Since time is short, I would encourage you to try 2 different visualizations that are designed to help you feel more confident.  The first one helps you to reconnect to the self confidence you experienced when you were cheering last season. The second one is for you to connect with someone you respect and admire as a cheerleader. 

For both of these visualizations, it’s important to come up with a power word or phrase   that helps you to feel the way you WANT to feel during tryouts. Maybe it’s the word “confident” or “right on” or whatever you choose.  Once you have your power word chosen, here is what to do: 

Visualization # 1

Find a quiet place and close your eyes

Exhale slowly, as slowly as you can at least 5 times

With each out-breath, tell yourself that you are relaxing more and more

Now, with your mind’s eye, see yourself in a cheer situation

See yourself performing with enthusiasm and confidence

See yourself executing skills with precision and focus

See yourself having fun

Really see yourself with all the details you can

When the scene is clear to you, assign a “power word” or “power phrase” to it

Now say the power word to yourself as you “watch” yourself performing

Repeat the power word over and over to strengthen the connection 

At the time of the audition, while you are waiting, exhale slowly a few times to calm down (if you are exceptionally nervous) and say your power word to yourself.  When you are called to perform, use your power word to connect to your confident self! 

Visualization #2

 Find a quiet place and close your eyes

Exhale slowly, as slowly as you can at least 5 times

With each out-breath, tell yourself that you are relaxing more and more

Now, with your mind’s eye, see someone you respect and admire in a cheer situation

Notice every detail of this athlete such as

            How she or he looks, moves, behaves, etc.

Now imagine how that cheerleader “feels” as he or she performs well

Now imagine how you might feel if you were that person

Now imagine that you are becoming like that person

Now imagine that you have become that person, with all of his or her confident attributes.

Assign a power word to this experience and repeat several times. 

At the time of the audition, while you are waiting, exhale slowly a few times to calm down (if you are exceptionally nervous) and say your power word to yourself.  When you are called to perform, use your power word to connect to your confident self!

Are you getting ready to tryout?  You might want to check out my special training program called The Mental Game of Cheerleading: Tryouts! which is a 2-CD audio program with a 54 page workbook.  There is a digital (downloadable) version as well.   See “Cheer Tools” at the top of this blog.

To be a great athlete you have to think and act like one and this means being objective in your self assessment and being committed to working on those areas that need improvement. 

One way to think about this is to consider three areas: technical, situational, and mental, and determine what you need to work on in order to improve your chances. 

• 1. List all of the technical reasons you did not succeed at tryouts before (such as poor motions, lack of tumbling skills, not the right tumbling skills, etc.). 
• 2. List all of the situational reasons why you did not make a team (such as not a good fit for squad, they needed a base not a flyer, you didn’t prepare adequately, etc.) 
• 3. List all of the mental reasons why you didn’t make a team (such as too much anxiety, freezing or forgetting a routine, any mental blocks, etc.) 
• 4. Now list the top 3 problems you had for each category and include a solution for each problem. (See example.)

 Example:

Technical Problem # 1: Could not execute a clean handspring.

Solution: I will get help from an instructor and practice 3 times a week until I nail my handspring.

Situational Problem # 1: I didn’t have enough time to prepare.

Solution: I will plan way in advance to make sure I have enough time to prepare well.

Mental Problem #1: I was so nervous I forgot some of the steps and loused up the routine.

Solution: I will learn and use some self-calming strategies so I can focus better. 

Now it’s your turn to come up with several more technical, situational, and mental problems you may have had and – most importantly – the solutions for each! 

Want more detailed information about how to succeed at Tryouts?  Check out my special program – The Mental Game of Cheerleading: Tryouts!  It’s a 2-CD audio package with a 50 page workbook!  Invest in the digital version (immediate download) for less!

The complaint is usually about fairness or the seeming lack of it.  The cheerleader wants to know what to do about the situation. This is how I reply: 

Thank you for writing to me!  I can see that you are quite unhappy about what happened.  It really is painful to want something so much and then not get it – especially if you think you are deserving of the position. 

Here are some of my thoughts on the subject.  First, be careful about jumping to conclusions. Your coaches have their reasons for making the choices they did and although on the face of it, it may seem unfair because you are more experienced, you still do not know all of the reasons behind their decision. It is possible they made the wrong choice but it is their choice.  

To find out more, try approaching your coaches and ask them, graciously – not with an attitude! – if they would be willing to talk with you about their decision.  Emphasize that you are wondering what you can work on in order to improve your chances of being selected a flyer. (Do not argue with them about their decision.)   

By approaching your coaches in this way, you will impress upon them that you are open to feedback and interested in growth.  That is the hallmark of a true champion athlete! Coaches like athletes who are eager to learn and who demonstrate motivation and perseverance. 

Ultimately no one has any control over the decisions of others.  The only thing you have control over is your response to this situation.  If you fuss and fume, you will drain positive energy from your body and spirit and you will undermine your athletic performance.  If you acknowledge your true feelings, that is, that you are hurt and angry, that is fine – just don’t hold onto those feelings.  Let them go and direct your energy and attention to what you can control – your attitude, your behavior, and your sport. Show everyone that you are a good sport.  Always take the high road and you will never regret it!

 If you would like more detailed information about how to prepare for tryouts, take a peek at my training program - The Mental Game of Cheerleading: Tryouts!  It consists of 2 audio CDs plus a 50 page workbook.  You have the option of investing in the 2-CD package or get the digital version for much less!

This is why it’s important to remember to smile while you are practicing!  It may seem a bit odd but if you do not practice smiling, it will be harder for you to smile at the actual audition – really! 

Some schools offer a pre-tryouts clinic where you are taught the skills or the routine you will be performing at the actual tryout.  When you rehearse at home, set up a room with chairs or pillows to represent the judges. Then, when you practice, include practicing smiling at the chairs or pillows (stuffed animals work, too).  If it seems silly enough to make you laugh, so much the better…at least you’ll be smiling! 

Whatever you can do to make smiling an automatic part of your performance will help you on tryouts day. 

 If you would like more detailed information about how to prepare for tryouts, take a peek at my training program - The Mental Game of Cheerleading: Tryouts!  It consists of 2 audio CDs plus a 50 page workbook.  You have the option of investing in the 2-CD package or get the digital version for much less!

Again – I do NOT advise that you wait till the last minute but if you do, consider these tips: 

• Calm down!  An anxious body is a tense body and a tense body will not perform as well as a relaxed body.  The quickest way to calm down is to exhale as slowly as you can at least 5 times.  Say to yourself, “With each out-breath, I am relaxing more and more.” 
• Focus! The breathing technique will assist you in getting focused, too.  As you are either learning new choreography or getting ready to perform, focus is essential.  So – exhale slowly once and say to yourself, “Focus” or “I’m ready – now!” 
• Visualize! Depending on how much time you have, watch some videos of cheerleaders executing the skills you will be called upon to perform. (YouTube has plenty of videos but make sure you are watching someone who is performing the skills accurately!) Give your full attention to watching the films and as you do, imagine how you might feel if you were that athlete. Then try to “see” yourself in place of the cheerleader on the video.   
• Attitude! As I mentioned in my last post, a positive attitude can be a selling point. Show the coaches that you are friendly, eager to learn, reliable, a good teammate – all the good stuff that a cheer coach would want. More than anything else, attitude is totally under your control. 

If you would like more detailed information about how to prepare for tryouts, take a peek at my training program – The Mental Game of Cheerleading: Tryouts!  It consists of 2 audio CDs plus a 50 page workbook.  You have the option of investing in the 2-CD package or get the digital version for much less!

If you are getting ready for tryouts, you might want to check out my older blog posts about this subject.  Go to the right and scroll down to Tryouts and you will be taken to the posts for that category. 

For today, I’d like to write about attitude. As athletes prepare for tryouts, they tend to focus on technical skills, overlooking the importance of attitude. 

What do I mean by attitude?  It’s your overall demeanor; it’s the way you interact with other cheerleaders, the coaches and judges; it’s not only what you say but how you say it (tone of voice); it’s all the non-verbal ways you communicate.    

Put yourself in the coach’s shoes for a moment.  Would you prefer someone who is technically proficient but who acts smug and entitled or who pouts and sulks? Or – would you prefer an athlete who might be a little less technically adept but who is eager to learn, friendly, and cooperative?  Most coaches would choose the athlete with the good attitude. 

A nice thing about this is it is completely under your control.  It is your choice so choose wisely! 

If you would like more detailed information about how to prepare for tryouts, take a peek at my training program - The Mental Game of Cheerleading: Tryouts!  It consists of 2 audio CDs plus a 50 page workbook.  You have the option of investing in the 2-CD package or get the digital version for much less!