Cheerleading Tryouts: When you don’t get what you want
Occasionally I get emails from disgruntled cheerleaders who are unhappy that they did not get chosen for a particular role on a squad. A typical message states that someone else was picked for a position (often it’s the flyer) and that the person who was selected is not really that good so “why was she selected and not me!!”
The complaint is usually about fairness or the seeming lack of it. The cheerleader wants to know what to do about the situation. This is how I reply:
Thank you for writing to me! I can see that you are quite unhappy about what happened. It really is painful to want something so much and then not get it – especially if you think you are deserving of the position.
Here are some of my thoughts on the subject. First, be careful about jumping to conclusions. Your coaches have their reasons for making the choices they did and although on the face of it, it may seem unfair because you are more experienced, you still do not know all of the reasons behind their decision. It is possible they made the wrong choice but it is their choice.
To find out more, try approaching your coaches and ask them, graciously – not with an attitude! – if they would be willing to talk with you about their decision. Emphasize that you are wondering what you can work on in order to improve your chances of being selected a flyer. (Do not argue with them about their decision.)
By approaching your coaches in this way, you will impress upon them that you are open to feedback and interested in growth. That is the hallmark of a true champion athlete! Coaches like athletes who are eager to learn and who demonstrate motivation and perseverance.
Ultimately no one has any control over the decisions of others. The only thing you have control over is your response to this situation. If you fuss and fume, you will drain positive energy from your body and spirit and you will undermine your athletic performance. If you acknowledge your true feelings, that is, that you are hurt and angry, that is fine – just don’t hold onto those feelings. Let them go and direct your energy and attention to what you can control – your attitude, your behavior, and your sport. Show everyone that you are a good sport. Always take the high road and you will never regret it!
If you would like more detailed information about how to prepare for tryouts, take a peek at my training program - The Mental Game of Cheerleading: Tryouts! It consists of 2 audio CDs plus a 50 page workbook. You have the option of investing in the 2-CD package or get the digital version for much less!