Take a group of 10 to 20 cheerleaders plus their parents and add a coach or two and what do you have?  The potential for great joy, yes, but also significant strife! 

What could possibly go wrong?  Well, here’s my list and I invite you to add to it! 

1. Cheerleaders who come late for practice - all the time.
2. Cheerleaders who whine and complain about the hard work.
3. Cheerleaders who goof off during practice.
4. Cheerleaders with a negative attitude.
5. Cheerleaders who talk trash about others.
6. Cheerleaders who do not want to try something new.
7. Parents who insist that their child should be the star.
8. Parents who interfere with the coaches’ decisions.
9. Parents who interfere with practice (loud talking, etc.)
10. Parents who think they know better than the coach.
11. Coaches who yell at team members.
12. Coaches who have obvious favorites.
13. Coaches who ignore phone calls from parents.
14. Coaches who are late for practice.
15. Coaches who treat their assistants poorly. 

Now let me be clear.  I recognize that most coaches, cheerleaders, and parents do not belong on this list but - it only takes one of these situations to cause problems and that is what we’re looking at now - problems and how to manage them. 

Feel free to comment and add to the list. 

In my next posting, I will present Greg Hicks’s six-step communications model for Constructive Confrontation.

I recently came across a book by Bobbi DePorter called: The 7 Biggest Teen Problems and How to Turn Them Into Strengths.  In the handbook that accompanies the book, Ms. DePorter describes a communication system that can easily be adapted by cheerleaders and cheer coaches - it’s called the OTFD or Open the Front Door. 

In this system, O stands for Observe; T = Thought; F = Feelings; and D = Desire.  Here’s how it works:  In any interpersonal communication, especially when there is tension or the potential for conflict, start with sharing what it is you have Observed, then the Thought that accompanies this Observation. Then, state the Feeling you have about this and finally ask what it is you want to happen (Desire). 

As an example, let’s say you’re a cheer coach and a member of your squad (Suzie) is chronically late for practice.  Here’s how you can handle the situation using OTFD: 

            Suzie, you have been late for practice 6 times over the last month. (Observation)

            My thought is that you have lost your commitment to the squad. (Thought)

            This both worries and annoys me. (Feeling)

            I want and expect you to appear on time for all future practices. (Desire) 

Now, there might be more you would say in this instance but the OTFD framework helps you to step back from the emotional heat of the moment to gather your thoughts and feelings and find a way to communicate them.

If you’re a cheer coach, you’ve probably heard a cheerleader say, “I can’t” at least once in your coaching career.  And if you’re a cheerleader, you’ve probably said, “I can’t” at least once or twice in your cheerleading career. 

Too often however, the “I can’t” really means “I won’t” or “I don’t know how.”  This is an important distinction.  When you say “I can’t” you are selling yourself short; you are limiting yourself.  This can happen when you are anxious or afraid or - just plain lazy! 

I invite you to pay attention to what you say and if you catch yourself saying, “I can’t” consider what you might really be feeling.  Are you nervous?  Are you worried you will make a mistake?  It may be more accurate to say, “I don’t know how…” and then work with your coach to find a way to learn what is being asked of you.  

If you really mean “I won’t” when you say “I can’t” it’s time to determine if you have the necessary commitment to the sport of cheerleading. 

So, keep your ears tuned to what you say and think about what it means!

Any cheerleader and cheer coach knows that there are times when you experience too much tension.  It could be right before a big event like tryouts or competitions or just in your everyday life.  

You tense up your body in reaction to a perceived threat.  Performing in a high stakes event is experienced as threatening to you even if you aren’t consciously aware of this.  And a perceived threat leads to muscle tension along with all of the other classic flight-fight reactions.  As I’ve mentioned before, this series of events can undermine your performance so it’s wise to learn how to manage this. 

Here’s one quick technique that was described to me by Denise Maldonado, a wonderful coach with the World Cup All Stars whom I met at Cheer Ltd’s CheerConference 2 weeks ago.  (Denise was also given one of the 30 under 30 coaching awards at CheerCon!) 

This is what Denise taught her cheerleaders to do prior to a big event: 

Take a balloon and blow into it.  While you do so, imagine that you are getting rid of all your tension and anxiety and putting it into the balloon.  Once the balloon is full, tie it up and then pop it!  There goes all your fear and tension! 

I like this because it’s so simple and fun.  Denise said her team likes it, too!

I have heard from many cheerleaders who are worried about tryouts.  This has led me to decide to write a book about this topic.  I am working on the book now but I will include excerpts from it in today’s and upcoming posts. 

Doubts are fueled by several factors including Lack of Accurate Feedback about Skill Level and Ability.   If you are a true beginner, with no previous cheerleading or tumbling experience, you will be trying out for a beginners’ team so this does not apply to you. 

I have seen cheerleaders who think they are not skilled enough pass on trying out for a varsity squad when, in fact they did have the right skills for varsity.  And I have seen the reverse - cheerleaders believing they were highly skilled but were not - trying out for an upper level team that was way out of their range.  

There are also cheerleaders who think they can learn a new skill such as a backward handspring a week before tryouts!  Well, this is obviously not a good idea!  Having an accurate and objective sense of your skill level is important and can save you much heartache. 

The solution?  Ideally your current coach or instructor will already have been giving you consistent feedback about your skill level and ability but if not, ask your coach to assess your skills and ask your coach if you are ready to try out for a particular squad.  If your coach tells you that you are NOT ready, take this information as data, not as a personal attack. Find out what you need to work on so you can prepare for next year. 

Inadequate Training: This problem is related to problem number three. In this instance the cheerleader simply has not had the right kind of training in order to move to the next level. Many cheerleaders know that they have not have the right kind of training or experience because their skill level is not up to par. Not having the right kind of training contributes to doubt. 

Solution? The solution in this instance is pretty straightforward and that is to make sure that you do get adequate training. There are countless cheerleading gyms available to learn the skills. There are also videos and books which may be helpful.  (Of course do NOT try any tumbling moves on your own - be safe!) Before you sign up for a cheer gym, visit several and observe other cheerleaders and talk to them to see what they recommend. You can often get a sense of a place from the “feel” of the mood of the cheerleaders who are there.  If you are a parent looking for a gym for your kids, definitely talk to other parents to get their read on a place.

What do coaches tell their squad before they perform?  Here (above) is Dee Haase giving her girls encouragement and direction.  Dee is coach of the UItimate Athletics of Ohio in North Royalton. And here are her girls (below) stretching before their warm-up.  Oh, to be young and limber! 

Family members and friends of the cheerleaders made up a big portion of the crowd and they certainly were a colorful and fun addition to the festivities as you can see from the photos below. Fans of the Patriots of Tennessee demonstrate that you don’t even need shirts to show your support…just paint it on!

Some heartwarming moments came with the Special Needs Competitions.  Four teams competed including the Ladybugs and Bugs, The Cobras, The Bobcats of Cumberland County, and the Rockingham Lions.  These cheerleaders had trained just as hard as anyone and they demonstrated poise and enthusiasm.  And we all cheered our hearts out for them.  Below is a photo of The Cobras getting into position to begin.

More photos from Cheer Ltd Nationals at CANAM will be posted tomorrow.  And if you have any you’d like to add, please send them to me!

I am honored and excited to be one of the featured presenters at this years CheerCon! This grand event will take place from May 14 - 17 at Methodist University in Fayetteville, North Carolina.

Gwen Holtsclaw, founder and president of Cheer Ltd interviewed me recently about sports psychology and cheerleading and we recorded the interview so you could hear it, too! Please feel free to listen in on our conversation.  We hope it will encourage you to register for CheerCon - the largest and longest running spirit industry conference! 

CheerCon is the largest cheer conference offered to coaches, cheerleaders, vendors, and industry leaders.  Whether you are a new coach or a veteran who just can’t quit, a team captain or a cheer fanatic, a vendor with that latest and greatest…you are invited! CheerCon was awarded the SPIRIT INDUSTRY Best Coaches Conference for a second time at the SITA Awards Gala in Chicago.

You’ll hear more about CheerCon as we get closer to May but for now…here’s the recording for you!

 It’s no secret that some cheerleaders experience injuries during cheerleading practices or performances.  

One such cheerleader recently wrote to me after she fell on her head, asking me to help her cope with the stress of doing the stunt that led to her injury.  This cheerleader fell on her head doing a 360 elevator/extension. 

What follows is my response to this cheerleader: 

How awful that you fell on your head!  No wonder you are afraid! 

First - I assume you got immediate medical attention, right?  Any injury is serious business but a head injury in particular requires immediate and thorough evaluation.  There is no way you should resume physical activity until you are cleared by a physician.

Second - has your coach been certified by an organization such as the American Association of Cheerleading Coaches and Administrators (AACCA)? All cheer coaches and cheerleading squads should go through a safety course. Safety is fundamental and the most important thing.

Third - ask your coach and squad to review what happened in detail in order to determine what went wrong.  Someone wasn’t doing what he or she should have been doing, right?  A careful analysis sets the stage for a plan to remedy the problem to ensure it doesn’t happen again.  This process will contribute to your feeling a bit more secure about future attempts at doing a 360 elevator/extension.

Fourth - once all of these steps are taken, you can begin the psychological recuperation. 

You have experienced a physical and a psychological trauma and the reality of that needs to be acknowledged and honored.  Of course you are frightened…that is natural. You will need to rebuild your trust in yourself and in your team-mates and perhaps in your coach, too.  This is a process and will take some time.  Ultimately, only you can decide if you wish to return to cheerleading or not.  Do not allow anyone to force you into doing something that you do not want to do. It is your decision. 

If you want to stay in the game, here are some things to consider: After a serious injury, we tend to get stuck on replaying the incident.  This prolongs the fear and it also engraves the incident in our brains. The body does what the brain thinks so you will definitely want to stop this process. To do this, you can try some visualization. (Many pro athletes use this to help them recover from injuries.) 

Here’s how to do it: 

1. Find a nice quiet place and while sitting up, close your eyes.
2. Exhale as slowly as you can 3 - 4 times.
3. Say to yourself, “With each out-breath, I am relaxing more and more.”
4. Once relaxed, see yourself, with your mind’s eye, in a safe place, a place you feel ultra comfortable, secure and happy.
5. Really enjoy being in your special safe place as you continue to focus on your out-breath.
6. Now, shift your focus and see yourself in your cheerleading practice spot, beginning an easy cheerleading stunt, something you learned a long time ago that is simple for you to do.
7. See yourself executing the move with grace and ease and “feel” yourself enjoying it; enjoy your success.
8. If you feel any anxiety during this phase, stop visualizing the stunt and return to your favorite safe place.
9. Stay in your safe place until you feel relaxed.
10. Once relaxed, return again to seeing yourself executing a simple cheer stunt.
11. Repeat until you have seen yourself successfully execute the simple stunt.
12. Now, see yourself begin a slightly more difficult stunt, something that requires more skill and competence.
13. Again, if you feel anxious, return to your safe place and focus on your out-breath.
14. Once relaxed, return to doing your stunt until you can do so with ease and confidence.
15. Keep building up the level of difficulty of the stunt until you are able to “see” yourself and “feel” yourself executing the stunt that resulted in your injury.
16. Remember, if you feel anxious, return to your safe place.
17. Once you can, in your mind’s eye, execute the 360 elevator/extension with success, repeat over and over. 

This visualization accomplishes several things.  It helps you ease back into the idea of cheerleading while minimizing your anxiety and it also engraves successful execution of stunts in your brain.  You will be training your brain to feel and think in the way you want.  You will also be learning how to control your thoughts and feelings rather than have them control you! 

Good luck with this.  I’m so glad you wrote to me about this.  Please keep me posted.

Readers!  Are you on Facebook?  If so, please be my friend and join my Facebook group - Confident Cheerleading!

While exploring the forum on the site - All About Cheerleading, I came across a question written by a cheerleader who has a “mental block” throwing her full. She wrote that she found her fulls easy to do when her team is warming up in the corners but then “blocks” when they do their whole routine. She has to do a pass through 3 other girls which is “scary” for her. 

This cheerleader said that this is “taking a lot of mental energy” as it is “all I think about”   and it’s frustrating for her. She gets mad at herself because she is a “perfectionist.”

Well, as a psychologist and peak performance coach, this caught my interest and I thought I would use her concern as the basis of a blog post - maybe a few!

Where to begin?  I think I’ll focus on the perfectionist problem today.

Perfectionism in itself is not necessarily a problem.  On a positive note, perfectionism can drive a cheerleader (or anyone) to work hard and persevere in the face of discouragement. So, perfectionism can be the fuel that motivates a cheerleader to succeed especially when it is accompanied by commitment, persistence, and attention to detail.  

 A healthy perfectionist can take pleasure in the effort taken to achieve success.

But sometimes, perfectionism isn’t so good for you!  This is true if you are unable to feel satisfaction because you can never believe what you do is good enough or if you are striving towards unrealistic goals. 

 There is an important distinction between striving towards excellence versus perfection. The former is realistic and possible; the latter is rarely possible and more likely to lead to frustration and heartache and in some instances - depression.

In cheerleading, the road to perfecting a stunt or routine is riddled with bumps and potholes. Mistakes are inevitable and, as I’ve mentioned in this forum many times, the best attitude to have towards mistakes is to view them as opportunities to learn and grow.

So here is how I would advise this cheerleader: You are missing out on an opportunity to learn something about yourself that can be valuable to you.  A true champion sees a mistake as information, as data that can be used to learn and to improve!

I would invite you to step back and practice saying this phrase over and over - “Isn’t it interesting that…” and fill in the blank.  So, for example, you could say, “Isn’t it interesting that I can successfully throw a full alone but not with my team mates during our routine.  I wonder why that is?”

If you do this, you will be creating some distance and objectivity to your situation which will help you see the situation more clearly and with less negative emotion.  You become a scientist, filled with curiosity about this problem.  Your goal becomes searching for a solution to the problem which is now more clearly defined which is - there is a difference in your ability to throw a full during a routine versus during a solo practice.

The next question becomes: what is the difference or what are the different variables between the 2 conditions? You are the same cheerleader in both situations, right? It isn’t that you are not physically capable of throwing a full since you are able to do so when practicing alone.

 So what is it about executing this move with your squad that interferes with your ability to nail it?

To help you figure it out, here are some possibilities: you are allowing yourself to get distracted by the movements of your team mates; you have “spooked yourself” into believing that you cannot do it in these circumstances; you are more focused on your negative internal conversation than on executing the move.  Do any of these ring true?

This is a beginning.  Tomorrow I will pick up here and continue.

By the way - are you on Facebook? If so, please be my friend and join my Facebook group - Confident Cheerleading!

A more extreme from of Magnifying and Minimizing is All-or-Nothing Thinking. 

Consider this cheerleading scenario.  Your cheerleading squad is at Nationals and you have come in 3^rd in your division.  You all know that your performance was excellent; you hit everything.  What’s your reaction? 

Do you smile with pleasure, knowing that your squad performed so well?  Are you angry that you didn’t place first? Are you complaining that the judging was unfair? 

Well, All-or-Nothing Thinking occurs when you wipe out everything positive and only look at the negative. This can have a snow ball effect such that EVERYTHING becomes negative.  So, in this case, the thinking would be look like this: “We lost.  We were terrible.  I should just get out of cheerleading.  I don’t think the coaching was good either. And the judges always pick that other squad. We’ll never come in first. This is the worst experience of my life.” 

See how easily misery can happen? Such cognitive distortions can discourage you from trying new things or deter you from taking good risks. 

Tip:  In a situation like this, the squad can benefit from a debriefing in which everyone is asked what  went well, what went very well, and what, if anything can be learned from the event.