In my last posting, I developed a list of potential problems that might occur in a cheerleading squad.  Well, it’s easy to come up with a list of problems but what do you do about them? 

Here is the six-step communications model for Constructive Confrontation as presented by Greg Hicks of GDH & Partners.  I think that this approach is easy to follow and implement. 

1. Be prepared.  Rather than rush in when you are upset, take some time to consider what you want to say and how you want to say it.  Of course there may be times when an immediate response is required but for chronic problems, preparation is a key to success.

2. Be brief.  It may be tempting to dump but not wise!  Get to the point quickly and stay on topic.  This is where preparation can be helpful.

3. Be specific.  Speak only about specific behaviors you have observed and not your interpretations of those behaviors. Someone can argue with your interpretations but it’s harder to do so with observable behaviors. 

What’s the difference? Well, if you tell someone she has been rude or inconsiderate, or arrogant, that is an interpretation.  However, telling someone that you observed her interrupting, rolling her eyes, looking away, or walking away are specific behaviors.  

4. Explain the impact.  Tell the person how others (or you) perceive their behavior and how it affects team performance.  It’s the negative impact that is the problem.

5. State the desired alternative. Here is where you go beyond a description of the negative behavior to describe what you expect in the future. Ideally, you will engage the person in identifying possible solutions.

6. Stay calm.  Yes, you are frustrated and annoyed but venting will not help!  You want the other person to focus on your message and his/her behavior, not your feelings.

Take a group of 10 to 20 cheerleaders plus their parents and add a coach or two and what do you have?  The potential for great joy, yes, but also significant strife! 

What could possibly go wrong?  Well, here’s my list and I invite you to add to it! 

1. Cheerleaders who come late for practice - all the time.
2. Cheerleaders who whine and complain about the hard work.
3. Cheerleaders who goof off during practice.
4. Cheerleaders with a negative attitude.
5. Cheerleaders who talk trash about others.
6. Cheerleaders who do not want to try something new.
7. Parents who insist that their child should be the star.
8. Parents who interfere with the coaches’ decisions.
9. Parents who interfere with practice (loud talking, etc.)
10. Parents who think they know better than the coach.
11. Coaches who yell at team members.
12. Coaches who have obvious favorites.
13. Coaches who ignore phone calls from parents.
14. Coaches who are late for practice.
15. Coaches who treat their assistants poorly. 

Now let me be clear.  I recognize that most coaches, cheerleaders, and parents do not belong on this list but - it only takes one of these situations to cause problems and that is what we’re looking at now - problems and how to manage them. 

Feel free to comment and add to the list. 

In my next posting, I will present Greg Hicks’s six-step communications model for Constructive Confrontation.

I recently came across a book by Bobbi DePorter called: The 7 Biggest Teen Problems and How to Turn Them Into Strengths.  In the handbook that accompanies the book, Ms. DePorter describes a communication system that can easily be adapted by cheerleaders and cheer coaches - it’s called the OTFD or Open the Front Door. 

In this system, O stands for Observe; T = Thought; F = Feelings; and D = Desire.  Here’s how it works:  In any interpersonal communication, especially when there is tension or the potential for conflict, start with sharing what it is you have Observed, then the Thought that accompanies this Observation. Then, state the Feeling you have about this and finally ask what it is you want to happen (Desire). 

As an example, let’s say you’re a cheer coach and a member of your squad (Suzie) is chronically late for practice.  Here’s how you can handle the situation using OTFD: 

            Suzie, you have been late for practice 6 times over the last month. (Observation)

            My thought is that you have lost your commitment to the squad. (Thought)

            This both worries and annoys me. (Feeling)

            I want and expect you to appear on time for all future practices. (Desire) 

Now, there might be more you would say in this instance but the OTFD framework helps you to step back from the emotional heat of the moment to gather your thoughts and feelings and find a way to communicate them.