I’ve heard many cheerleading coaches use the term “perfectionist” when describing a (usually anxious) cheerleader.  And just the other day a cheerleader wrote to me and said she was a perfectionist.  Before that, a cheer mom told me her daughter was a perfectionist. 

Ok, so what exactly is a perfectionist and is it really a problem?  Turns out this is a more complex dilemma than you would think! 

Now I admit that psychologists can be good at making things more complicated than they need to be but in this case, the research makes sense.  Please bear with me and read on… 

First, sport psychologists make the distinction between perfectionistic strivings and perfectionistic concerns.  There is an important difference! 

Perfectionistic Concerns are preoccupations with making mistakes, parental expectations, parental criticism, and coach’s expectations and criticisms.  As might be expected, athletes who score high on this dimension have a high fear of failure. These athletes also tend to have problems with depression, anxiety and avoidance. 

Coaches and parents communicate the standards of what is acceptable in performance situations.  They provide feedback and evaluation to the athletes about their abilities and performances.  Because of this, their criticisms and expectations are a source of pressure and concern for athletes. 

 For the athlete who has Perfectionistic Concerns, the words and behaviors of parents and coaches are weighed heavily.  It’s important to note that these athletes might PERCEIVE criticisms and feedback as being harsher than it is objectively communicated. 

Perfectionistic Strivings relate to a desire to excel and are accompanied by high personal standards of success.  These athletes tend to be more self confident and have a positive approach to practice and goal-setting as long as they have some capacity to accept minor imperfections.  When they demand perfection in all things, they fare less well. 

Stay tuned for more on this topic…

By the way…it’s competition season!  Learn all about the Mental Game of Competitions here!  Don’t miss out!

Cheerleaders, like all athletes, can be hard on themselves.  You might get caught up in perfectionism which is dangerous.  It’s one thing to strive for excellence, which is possible – but quite another to work toward perfection – which is not. 

Professional athletes learn to recognize and control their thoughts because they know that their thoughts affect their performance. 

Many of our thoughts are automatic, that is , we have them and aren’t even aware of having them. The only thing we are aware of is that we feel anxious or sad or agitated. It’s important to learn to recognize those automatic thoughts to minimize their damage! 

How? It’s as simple as A-B-C. 

A refers to the Activating event.  This can be something that has happened or something you anticipate happening.

B stands for the Belief you have about what has happened or what will happen.

C refers to the Consequences of holding onto the Belief. 

Here’s an example: 

A = I didn’t do well in practice today.

B = I definitely will not do well in the competition coming up.

C = I feel anxious and distressed.

 Do you see that the feeling follows the thought?  To change the feeling you must change the belief or thought.  You can’t change the Activating event so don’t even try but you can change your interpretation of it.

 To change your belief from something that is negative and harmful, challenge it!  In other words, use D – which stands for Debate or Dispute.  Yes, you must learn to Debate or Dispute your Beliefs. 

Here’s how: Your Belief is – “I definitely won’t do well in the competition.”

Ask yourself: How do I know for certain that this is true? Is this belief really accurate or is it a distortion based on faulty thinking?  Isn’t it possible to perform great in competition when a practice wasn’t good? How else can I explain my less-than-great practice session?  

Do you see how this works/  It takes some effort and it really is better if you write it out but if you do, you will learn how to gain control of your thinking and this will definitely enhance your performance in cheerleading and in life!

While exploring the forum on the site – All About Cheerleading, I came across a question written by a cheerleader who has a “mental block” throwing her full. She wrote that she found her fulls easy to do when her team is warming up in the corners but then “blocks” when they do their whole routine. She has to do a pass through 3 other girls which is “scary” for her. 

This cheerleader said that this is “taking a lot of mental energy” as it is “all I think about”   and it’s frustrating for her. She gets mad at herself because she is a “perfectionist.”

Well, as a psychologist and peak performance coach, this caught my interest and I thought I would use her concern as the basis of a blog post – maybe a few!

Where to begin?  I think I’ll focus on the perfectionist problem today.

Perfectionism in itself is not necessarily a problem.  On a positive note, perfectionism can drive a cheerleader (or anyone) to work hard and persevere in the face of discouragement. So, perfectionism can be the fuel that motivates a cheerleader to succeed especially when it is accompanied by commitment, persistence, and attention to detail.  

 A healthy perfectionist can take pleasure in the effort taken to achieve success.

But sometimes, perfectionism isn’t so good for you!  This is true if you are unable to feel satisfaction because you can never believe what you do is good enough or if you are striving towards unrealistic goals. 

 There is an important distinction between striving towards excellence versus perfection. The former is realistic and possible; the latter is rarely possible and more likely to lead to frustration and heartache and in some instances – depression.

In cheerleading, the road to perfecting a stunt or routine is riddled with bumps and potholes. Mistakes are inevitable and, as I’ve mentioned in this forum many times, the best attitude to have towards mistakes is to view them as opportunities to learn and grow.

So here is how I would advise this cheerleader: You are missing out on an opportunity to learn something about yourself that can be valuable to you.  A true champion sees a mistake as information, as data that can be used to learn and to improve!

I would invite you to step back and practice saying this phrase over and over – “Isn’t it interesting that…” and fill in the blank.  So, for example, you could say, “Isn’t it interesting that I can successfully throw a full alone but not with my team mates during our routine.  I wonder why that is?”

If you do this, you will be creating some distance and objectivity to your situation which will help you see the situation more clearly and with less negative emotion.  You become a scientist, filled with curiosity about this problem.  Your goal becomes searching for a solution to the problem which is now more clearly defined which is – there is a difference in your ability to throw a full during a routine versus during a solo practice.

The next question becomes: what is the difference or what are the different variables between the 2 conditions? You are the same cheerleader in both situations, right? It isn’t that you are not physically capable of throwing a full since you are able to do so when practicing alone.

 So what is it about executing this move with your squad that interferes with your ability to nail it?

To help you figure it out, here are some possibilities: you are allowing yourself to get distracted by the movements of your team mates; you have “spooked yourself” into believing that you cannot do it in these circumstances; you are more focused on your negative internal conversation than on executing the move.  Do any of these ring true?

This is a beginning.  Tomorrow I will pick up here and continue.

By the way – are you on Facebook? If so, please be my friend and join my Facebook group – Confident Cheerleading!